But what does that mean you might say? In such a fast-paced environment (I wonder how many people considered another decade to be way faster than the previous ones), people are expected to achieve great results, to work more, to work harder, and to become the most efficient human beings yet. But it would seem to me, that there is a difference between efficient and effective. But more on that later.

When you work 50+ hours a week, you expect exactly the car that will show how well you do your job. You’ll expect it to be just the way you imagine it, and you expect it to be ready just there and then. Wait a few months?? Are you crazy? And the feeling I get is that a silly example like the one just there, is becoming a guide to which you can hold pretty much all decisions. And as you will have noticed, one of my recent “bugging me topics” is relationships, so I obviously see a connection between those two as well.

People go out of their way to seek perfection, but when it comes to going out to meet their soulmate, so many people also want it to be perfect, but above all, they want it now. And if you have only a few moments, a few hours, why get with someone where the only real information you can get is looks, money and self-assurance? How much more can you know about that person? Argue with me, I don’t really care. You might say you know the person already, but would you vouch for what you think you know to others? Will the person stand up for you in a fight? Will the person lie to protect you? Will the person cherish you? Or will that person betray your trust? Become violent after a drink too many? Leave you when you need them most?

What we (well, not me ) mistakingly think is perfection and efficiency, is imho merely effectiveness. You choose your “target”, you get with them, and you’re either very lucky, or you try to move on as best you can. And now for the disturbing part, and this is leaning very far out the window. This behaviour, is something I believe I have noticed elsewhere. Dogs. Cats. Animals in general.

Animals don’t need to get to know the other animal before wanting to get with it.  It is merely a satisfaction to a basic need. It’s an instant gratification.

For a start, what do I consider compensating? A big car. Or an expensive/loud car. Or lots of gel and an expensive tshirt. Or excessive cleavage, (too much) makeup, short skirts, killer shoes (literally). Talking about money and investments. Complaining about how expensive the holiday/dinner/… was. Anything really you wouldn’t do if you were happy with yourself and didn’t hope to give an image of yourself to the people around you. You might now already think: what’s he on about, why can’t I look pretty? Why can’t I talk about my achievements? Well because I am willing to take you just the way you are, not the way you try to be!

Basic thoughts now. You wake up, have a date, and a new pimple. What do you do? You try and hide your “imperfection”. And just the same, you’ll use gel to potentially cover a bald spot, or to distract from said pimple. Or you’ll lay your boobies on the table, hoping I won’t notice the huge pimple on your forehead. You might even buy an LV bag, just because you want people to think you’re sophisticated (which you might not be), while in fact, you pay a lot more for a bag which you could have had at a much lower price – to some, this would actually mean that you’re not good with money. Or continuously talk about that way-too-expensive cruise you took that was nice, but cost a fortune – and you’ll hope the only thing registered is that you can afford it, while in fact, I’ll think you’re also bad with money.

The older I get, the more people I meet, the more experiences I have, the more I realize I just want to be me, and the people that take me like that actually do love me. And everyone else, they should find someone else really. If I feel comfortable being overweight, that’s my feeling. If I don’t want to shave, that’s my thing. And why would it matter in the first place? Isn’t what I have to say or what I do what matters most? Does it mean that if I had a lean body and dressed like an H&M Model, I could be a total twat? Does an expensive car excuse domestic violence? (No, nothing ever does!)

Yesterday, while having lunch, I started watching people walking by. And so many were really dressed up. And I couldn’t help but wonder what they were really like. This very pretty girl walked past, in clothes that showed all the good spots of her body. Full of makeup, with killer shoes. But she looked so arrogant and unhappy. She didn’t look clever either, and I realized that people have a “sell-by date”. If they have little to show for, they try everything they can to show off in their earlier years and hope to settle down while they still have looks or money. And they go to the tan-place because they think that this will help them find a soulmate now, not considering that excessive sunlight will make their skin look like a rug a few years down the road.

So yes, people, invest your time and efforts in positive developments of yourself, not in hiding your personality! If there was a mirror of Erised, you should see yourself as you see yourself in a real mirror! The same way as you would ideally be super-rich, but noone would know. And as a sidenote, the prettiest I ever found girls, was when they were in tracksuits with a huge honest smile!

What have you tried to compensate for today?

And maybe you’ve already come to a similar conclusion, maybe you’ll never reach that conclusion. Nonetheless, here’s my thoughts.

First, try and visualize what you’re really good at. Then try and visualize all the things that don’t work so well, and try to see if it’s due to a lack of skill on your side. Then try and find out if a limited amount of time and money can make you improve your results – if not, find people who can fill the gap against payment.

Once you’ve found your answers, let go, and start to fully trust that new partner.. It’ll free up your time and your head, and it’ll make you have better results!

Thanks to my banker, insurance guy, florist, gardener, accountant…

Was sunday a special day, different from any other? Maybe, but only if special means that I realized I should try harder to see the positives, rather than excepting the worst. If you’ve not realized this yourself, you might want to give it a try.

(oh, and if you don’t know it yet, check out Bref! French short webisodes. Awesome.)

Will this finally be the day for it? All in all, it has made me review heating in the house, change good tires on the car to best tires, consider changing the garage door, buy petrol and wood and clothes…and so on.

I say, wait and see. Let’s not be controlled as a mass by fear. Let’s not be fall for consumerism. And let’s all accept a little change in weather for what it is: a change in weather.