When I say, I don’t like the way young people behave when they go out, pretty much everyone I know says something “resigned”, something along the lines of: What do you want to do, there is nothing that can be done. I disagree. The same goes on about discussions over racism, where more and more people seem to accept that this is a reality, yet still don’t see that they can make a difference. Again, I disagree. But let’s dig this as deep as I can.

• A week ago, I went to the Rives de Clausen, against my better judgement, and it made me feel sad and frustrated, as expected. I was standing outside for a while, watching people walk by. I was wearing nice, warm shoes and clothes, yet I could still feel a certain coldness in the air. But – and there is always that but – a very general guestimate of mine says 9 out of 10 women that walked past, walked past in mini-mini-skirts (you know, the mini’s amongst the mini-skirts), with tiny shoes where the heel takes up the larger part of material used, no jackets, and the least amount of material used in the general breast area. It felt in some nasty ways as if I’d gone to a butchers, where it also seems best to show a maximum of the meat that would be available. Plus, most of them seemed drunk, and had guys herding them together, you know the kind of guys whose tongue every now and then slips out lightly and brushes their owner’s upperlip. Personally, I still believe that it is the inside that matters, as the outside is the least time-resisting feature. But also, I really personally enjoy the little bit of fantasy that can build up if you imagine what someone could look like under their clothes – if you’ve seen (almost) everything in a club, why bother to find out what’s left? Also, would a woman that dresses like this be a good example for the children you might have with her? Or would a woman dressed like that only be an object of your lust? (And yes, I realize men dress like this too, but from my point of view, those are just sad, and I feel it more in me to be protective of women..)
• A few years ago, it seemed that one of my closest, yet much younger, friend had it all wrong. Whenever we talked, he seemed to be anxious and lightly aggressive, telling me about him and his boys and how they’d stick together, even in the face of definite danger. At the time, I thought it had only to do with young men trying to find their place amongst equals. Lately, this other good friend responds really rather aggressively to anything that could be interpreted as a lack of respect. There, I thought it might have had to do with all the bad luck he’s had the past few years. But again, as I stood in the Rives de Clausen, I couldn’t help but notice that 9 out of 10 young men dressed in a very “gangsta” style, carried jewelry and rings, looked at each other or me in a rather menacing way, and it made me feel very unwelcome. Little however can make me feel uncomfortable – I’ve seen too much for that – but it felt very tense. And that in a place you go to to have fun? And this same topic, when addressed with some of my peers generates similar responses: What do you wanna do? The kids these days, they’re just like that, you can’t change that.
• Relationships. Do I need to say more? Ok, this is a blog, not a guessing game, so here goes my “say-more”. 50 years ago, it was frowned upon to get a divorce. The desperately needed liberation of women, the putting as equals of women, the movements for their protection… all excellent developments. If you are in a destructive relationship, you should be able to get out! But today, it seems to me that every little argument you may have, could lead to a separation, and eventually a divorce. With children? Of course! There are after all many services for single parents, so why not just breakup instead of trying to remember the vows you took 20 years ago? 5 years? 2 month? The first “11/11/11-wedding” to get a divorce only took a few days as I heard on the news the other day. And all along, freedom and de-sexualisation of women, moving away from that nasty image that may have shown them as objects, and today, what do the young women do? They aim to become just that – objects of lust. And at the same time, which type of man gets promoted as being “the man”? The macho, disrespectful, raw, sexual predator? Why in this day and age are there still women that get beaten AND stick with their monsters? Why is it, that there is a saying that a woman-beater will always remain a woman-beater, and why is it that people say that a beaten woman will always return to the beater? It just doesn’t make sense to me, like AT ALL. And what do people I converse with say? If you intervene, you risk getting her into more trouble… if she doesn’t want the change, you cannot force the change on her… but what if this beaten woman were your daughter? Would you not take that decision for her? Would you not force her to do something that was eventually better? Of course though, if you ever intervene in the streets, remember to stay safe, and remember this will most likely not just be the one-time occasion, it will have consequences. And actually why would that be a big thing? There is something called social responsibility, and this is not covered by giving a few coins every now and then to a beggar.
• Then there is drugs, and drugs are always being reasoned about… that they are not really that bad, and that it should be everyone’s own choice. But what about the younger generations? When I was a teenager, people took drugs, of course, but you wouldn’t see that everywhere you went. Someone on cocaine would stick out right away, with the eyes, the smile and the aggressive energy. Today it seems, that the one not on cocaine will stick out. And if you talk about it, you’re being told that you didn’t like being told when you were young either… but we were told! And maybe that allowed drugs in those days to remain something that I might call ok - exceptional (as in, not the general rule).

As an intermediary sum-up, I am once again not pleased about something. But more importantly, those different issues seem to be too big to deal with by most of the people I know. And I seem to be the silly one for believing I can do something about it. But if not me, who could? The government? I saw this interesting headline recently ago, that politics was going to die out, and be replaced by economics – money makes the world go ’round. So no. Specialist groups and organisations? Or could Religion be a solution? Seriously, then it would make more sense to actually hope for Superman to return .

But I like to reflect a lot, so I wonder, what can I (you) do, really..

If you notice someone in your immediate group, someone you can influence, who dresses poorly (as in “slutty” or “gangsta”), ask them why they dress like that? There are so many pointers out there, so I leave it up to you to turn the thing around!

If someone around you starts using racist phrases, tell them they do. Don’t tell them they’re racists – that can always be thwarted, just tell them that what they said was racist. AND, that you don’t like this one bit.

Aggressive people should be ignored and not be supported in their way of thinking. Or changed. I told my friend that I loved him, but that it made me feel uncomfortable when he went off. I acknowledged he had had a hard time, but I told him that on the one hand, it wasn’t my fault, and that at the same time, he seemed to “punish” others that didn’t deserve it either. On the other hand, I have also told him he could always talk to me about it – talk, not shout. And he’s been an absolute charm again!

People tend to go to their friends for advice. Especially on relationships. But that is a very dangerous discussion, where you more often than not might loose a friend. So THE rule to stick to, is to stick to facts, and let your friend take his own decision. That doesn’t mean sticking only to some facts (the reasons to separate for example). It is reminding your friend that a relationship is a 2-way street, and that every now and then, one of them might be less “on target”. It might be insisting on communication as a great tool to clear differences. It might also telling them to seek professional help and at the same time offering your hand in friendship and support…

Drugs? And this by all means also includes alcohol and the abuse of it? If you notice your friend spiraling down, don’t just accept it. Be there for them, tell them they are not alone. Give more than you receive in return. If you were in their place, wouldn’t you like a friend like you (can be)?

Actually. Now that I see this in front of me, I want to adapt the title of this article. I say:
The world doesn’t need Superman! The world needs Super(wo)men, and everyone has it in themselves to be SUPER!